#Reverb13 CheckIn: Self-Compassion

Treat Yo Self

(I have developed a Parks & Recreation addiction.

Here is the video for the headline, if you need the reference.)

Priorities: Describe a single moment where you practiced self-compassion over the last six months. What did you do and why? 

On self-compassion, I wrote:

I am trying this approach to self-compassion with some bad news I received last night about the tentative plan I’d been working on for next year for my career and work… My instinct was to yell at myself to get over this disappointment and suck it up and move on and most importantly, that I was stupid in the first place for having expectations that this would not be the conclusion to my plan. Really, I deserve this outcome because I decided to take so many risks the last two years.  

I cried last night because I felt so stupid and lost and today am trying to feel compassion for myself as much as possible. It will also help with my decision-making process.”

I have talked about work stuff already… and I know the prompt is about self-compassion… but I’d like to tackle self-care, which is related.

About a month ago, I decided to take a long, relaxing bath. During a Wednesday. It seems so simple, but it felt life-changing, and I took note.

I love relaxing baths! I am not sure when I stopped taking them, but I did in the last year or so. They seem indulgent and I am not sure why. I share a small house with my husband, so it’s partly a weird feeling of taking so much space and time to myself in the house. We also both work from home and there are always messes around the house- dishes to do, laundry to put away, papers to file.

Who has freaking time for a bath?

This particular day, I felt dirty and stressed and overwhelmed by days of never-ending website coding, a whiny dog, and messes all around me in every room. The stress felt like lime-green, sticky slime on my skin. I remember staring at the wall for second, closing my laptop and having the thought creep into my head and then pop: “I need a damn bath.”

I ignored my dog’s whines as I walked into the kitchen. I poured myself a small glass of rose, made myself a greek yogurt and espresso face mask and went into the bathroom and closed the door firmly.

I ran the steamy hot water, poured the citrus scented bubbles in the bath, and made myself a scrub of lavender sugar and walnut oil in a tiny mason jar. I used the scrub on every nook and cranny of my body and then also used a scrubbing-brush before shaving places that I had ignored. I took small sips of wine while I scrubbed, shaved and deep conditioned my hair. I surrounded myself with the unused bath products that had moved from me with home to home and used them all.

And then I just sat back in the hot water and suds and breathed.

When I was ready, I emptied the tub and took a quick hot shower to rid myself of any last lavender sugar sticking to me. I got into a cotton sundress, took 20 minutes to moisturize myself throughly with cocoa butter and detangled my hair so it was smooth as silk.

I opened the door to the bathroom to a concerned husband and dog in the office. I delivered some big kisses and took my glass of rose, Kindle, and sat outside for the rest of the afternoon reading and looking at birds.

I sat back in my chair and breathed.

I have taken a weekly bath since- not during the workday (yet). Without these, no website coding would ever get finished.

Other Reverb updates on reflections I made in 2013.

  • I have avoided muddy situations, mostly by being careful who I surround myself with in the first place.
  • I’ve listened to my heart and kept my family in Savannah for the time being, even when people have tried to call me away.